Last Night’s Not Too Cheerful Song by Ivar Kalleberg
Last night I tried writing A new cheerful song But it did not work out – ’cause the theme was all wrong I wrote a few verses They all were to glum If sad songs make most money This will earn quite a sum First verse dealt with Grandma Much bothered with piles Yet she used to ride daily At least twenty miles But lightning struck down One morning in May And hit the old lady Who then passed away
In verse two was my sister Who loves men galore She has fourteen kids She will soon have one more She cannot say no When a man wants some fun The same inclination Has my next youngest son The rest of this verse Was indeed very sad My son has a sister Who thinks I’m her dad But she was conceived While I was in Vietnam By my unfaithful wife And a plumber named Sam
Verse three had some four lines About my ex-wife She does what she can To mess up my life She once tried to croak me But she did not succeed An ex-wife like her Is the last thing I need The rest of my lyrics Turned out rather blue My new wife ran away Pretty soon I met Sue But Sue was a minor Who looked twice her age When the vice squad found out I was put in a cage
I now planned to tell you All about my verse four But – There’s a lump in my throat I can’t sing anymore I now need a break And a couple of beers In dark lonesome corner Where you can’t see my tears
