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Expressions of sympathy, sadness, goodbye, and all emotions involved!

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Postby psgifford » Thu Jun 14, 2007 1:17 pm


by P.S.Gifford

I am sitting here-

attempting to write.

Yet my mind will not focus,

For my thoughts persistently drift,

And turn to my father, who is eighty,

in his hospital bed.

Suddenly he is the greatest man who ever lived,

And only the fondest memories are recalled.

Recollections are polarized, embellished, sanitized-

Selective memory at its finest.

All issues resolved.

All sins pardoned.

For none of that ever mattered.

Pettiness can be a poison.

All of us have regrets.

And I keep glancing at the phone,

Expectantly, willing it to ring.

I am confident of good news,

That he shall be transferred to a nearby nursing facility.

Yet, I know, that when it does ring,

shattering the silence.

I shall stare at it for a few moments,

Fearful to pick it up,

Unsure of what the voice at the other end will inform me.

For fear exists in my imagination.

Pounding in my brain like a jack hammer.

Gnawing away at my reason.

At times I am a five year old boy;

Terrified, innocent, needy.

At others I am how others see me;

Strong, resourceful, determined.

The truth of who I am is surely a combination of the two

And many, many more facets- human beings are complex.

So here I sit,

With my mind unwilling to focus,

And my fingers unable to write.

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